No one ever provided a better definition of caregiving than Rosalynn Carter. On numerous occasions she said: “There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.”
The task of caregiving is a necessary part of all our lives. It can be hours of tiring and trying work, can be emotionally exhausting. But it can also be a time of tenderness and joy, re-connection and self-satisfaction, for so many family members … unpaid but often priceless times of labor.
In our state of Connecticut, there are more than 420,000 family caregivers providing 390 million care hours per year. So, we realize we are not alone.
How about a few reflections?
- Those who have been caregivers.
You have had the practice and have acquired the skills. You know what to do and what to expect. You understand the stages we all go through. And with that experience and knowledge, you can teach others and learn from them as well.
- Those who are currently caregivers.
You realize what a learning curve it is. You need to be patient, to find support, to get training, to listen. And most important, you need to take care of yourself … to find time to rest, to seek out and accept assistance.
- Those who will be caregivers.
It is helpful to start thinking about and preparing early. Sometimes it is hard to do for oneself. To plan for your family’s needs, to be in dialogue with them, to perhaps do some volunteering or learning in formal or informal fashion. To become comfortable with assuming a quite challenging new role.
- Those who will need caregivers.
Most important is to be willing to accept help and be open to change. To be brave enough to ask for it, to cooperate, even if at first thought it might not seem the best way forward. To have family members know your wishes, and to reach back out in kindness and gratitude.
The Dalai Lama has written: “Happiness is not ready made. It comes from our actions.” And caregiving can surely be a source of happiness. Have you a story to share with us on this blog? A story to encourage and celebrate caregiving? Let’s hear from you. Perhaps we can write another blog to share experiences, best practices, and advice to help other caregivers or potential caregivers.
Darien’s Senior Center offers a Caregiver Support Group that meets each month, and is open to anyone who cares for a family member or friend with needs. The group, facilitated by Beth Paris who is the Director of Senior Programs at the Senior Center, helps caregivers explore issues related to Alzheimer’s and Dementia in a supportive and safe environment. For more information, call the Senior Center at (203) 656-7490.
(And a special thank you to our guest blogger, Peter Eder, not only for writing this piece but also for everything he does for our organization!)
All good reminders, Thank you Peter & Chris!